I realize that I would be a happy man if I could concentrate on putting excellence and importance into what I make and not also have to worry about where it’s all going when I’m done. The first challenge I love, but the other I have grown to dislike.
Thinking ahead to vectors and reception and such could drive anyone crazy. I love what I do as a writer of outsider-philosophy (whether fiction or nonfiction), but I occasionally envy creative people who experience the luxurious feeling of being able to let what they are doing stand on its own, because they don’t need or want it to achieve anything. Are they naive? Unambitious? Self-indulgent? Perhaps, in some cases, but they must experience a great deal less stress.
It’s more well-known that thinking about a creative endeavor as a product can strangle the process, but no doubt I have joined a long line of creators who feel driven to put intentions to make a difference behind their ideas, writing, art, social movements, etc. in my particular lament—especially if it is accompanied by the foresight to know that whatever they accomplish, or in whatever way they carefully do it to achieve certain ends, it may very well not make the mark they hope.